• authorknj

Isolation Thoughts

How's it going, y'all?

Things have been fairly chaotic on my end of the world. Not chaotic as in I'm going crazy, but chaotic like the whole world is going insane. I'm sure a lot of people are feeling the same way, but it's been interesting to see how the world is reacting to everything.

I've been officially working from home for the last month and it's been so strange! It has been semi-helpful in terms of my writing productivity. I have officially finished Draft 1 of Book 3. I have also finished 5,000 words for Book 4. If you can do fast math, you'll know that I have definitely slowed my writing progress since starting Book 4, but I'm okay with that.

Aside from writing as much as I can motivate myself to do, in my day job, I've been working from home. It's actually informed me about some emotions I've had for awhile. I have slowly been pulled into a deep depression within the last three years. It was such a slow pull that I didn't even notice it. My husband has mentioned some things, but I didn't really know how much it had actually impacted me. Now, a month after not having to drive into my job everyday, I feel like a new person.

However, as soon as I started feeling better, my job reassigned me into a new department and position. It was done while I wasn't in the office and wasn't informed was going to happen until it actually did happen. I don't want to give too much information about the whole thing, except to say that I haven't been fully trained on what I'm supposed to be doing and everyone is attempting to keep up with their own work, so it's a bit difficult to get any direction.

This has led to emotions of uselessness and restlessness to bubble up. I spent three days bugging my new supervisors, trying to get access to software I needed and then spent another day bugging people to get trained. Turns out, I need to be productive for me to feel like I am worthy of a paycheck. I need to have work to do and I need the work to actually mean something. I am doing a lot of busy work right now, which is great because I at least am getting a paycheck and have work, but I feel like the busy work isn't useful.

These are all interesting things to realize about yourself. To realize that I need to have work to do and work that I believe is useful is something that can help me narrow down my definition of useful and beneficial. Who knows? This whole situation has been crazy. I've been traveling back and forth to my parent's house and spending multiple days there so my work mode is all out of wack.

Then, today, we woke up and our car window had been smashed and some of my husband's camera had been stolen. So, having to deal with that has been interesting. Last night, I finally got some words in and a new character that I really like so far popped up. I also have been working my way through three books, which have felt like it's taken me forever! I am listening to The City of Brass on audiobook, reading The Soul Searcher's Handbook, and The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue. I want to finish these three books this month so I can move on and get my library book stack finished before they open back up again.

This is a bit rambly now, so I'm going to wrap this up here. It's nice to express my thoughts while in isolation. I hope this was a bit helpful for you too! I know we're all going insane being stuck inside for so long. Keep sane! Do some walking and drink some water. We won't be in this situation for ever.

Have a bright and colorful day! Keep writing!


1 view0 comments

Recent Posts

See All